My daughter called me MEAN tonight for the first time. I am so proud! This is a sure sign that she is growing up and gaining her sense of self. Now EAT your lentils!!
Do you have regrets? I have a few - probably worthy of their own post really. But here are a few:
- Should have taken a year off between high school and college.
- I cannot believe I don't speak another language (does MSFT Excel count? I am fluent in that).
- Should have run cross country in high school.
- Should have stuck with rowing crew in college.
- Should have listened to my parents when they said "Take piano!"
- [are we catching a theme here, the coulda woulda theme?]
- Should have played more as a kid and not worried about being embarrassed.
- Sunscreen.
- One can always see friends more and call family more than we do.
- Laughing. More of that.
- Should have coupled a minor in English with my Econ major.
- There are hair and outfit regrets. I suppose they make for fun pictures now...don't judge.
- This is a biggie - conflicted biggie - I regret taking my first job out of business school for the money and the name! Oh there I said it! I went to Goldman right after b-school and it was a mistake. I did it because I thought I wanted to talk to hedge fund managers all day about diverse and alpha generating trading strategies! YES. That is what I told myself. But in reality, it was for money, a "known" career path and well, some other dumb reasons. I left after only a few months - got an offer at an internet start-up and ran. The event was not terminal but something of a waste. I pursued that job for nearly a year in b-school. THAT was the waste. What other time in your life do you have to experiment? To try something new? To look for a job that aligns with your passions?!?! I had the world as my oyster and I went to...Wall Street. Bad oyster. Alas. Now, if only we had a better way to figure out what we really WANT to do. And what a luxury. To have that as a choice.
So there you have it. Oh yeah, there are others, but oh how DULL. I get the whole "I would not be who I AM! if I had done things differently" (I always picture people saying this, channeling their inner Scarlet O'hara. But please. What a crock. I mean sure, maybe that is true but really you would not do ANYTHING differently? OK. I suppose the way to think of regrets is as opportunities. Who says I cannot take piano and learn a language now or in the future? Think of it that way, feel better. Move on.
I don't really know how my daughter calling me mean led to that diatribe. I think I thought my parents were mean for trying to force me to do things I did not want to do but now wish I had done. Now that is a tough balance to strike as a parent. Think I will just deal with a few regrets tonight and get to my daughter's future therapy needs another day.
Kylie - I LOVE this blog post . . . as I had to deal with my daughter crying tonight [at the age of 10] about things that she wish were different, I was crying inside about the things I had wished I had done differently . . . yet, what your blog does is put our focus back on what it always needs to be - TODAY! So in the spirit of the Jesuitical education that we both enjoyed at Georgetown, CARPE DIEM and no more regrets . . .
Posted by: twitter.com/MaryAnnHalford | March 09, 2010 at 11:48 PM
Kylie,
Welcome to the wold of mean parenting! LOL Mine are all adults now, and they survived and are on their way to being incredibly great adults!
As for the regrets...everything we do along the way puts us on the path that we end up on. It is all leading us to be the best person we can be...so don't regret the choices, be thankful that they have led you to your wonderful life!
Paul
Posted by: [email protected] | March 10, 2010 at 11:10 AM
Good stuff, Kylie (it's your high school classmate, George Young). Seems like there's much more there for you to say. What do you think it is? Where do you think it comes from (where soul meets body?) Where do you think it will take you? Make sure you do everything you can to say it while you have the chance...you never know! Keep posting! -George-
Posted by: George | March 10, 2010 at 08:58 PM
Every human being has things they'd have done differently with the benefit of hindsight, or if they had a little more courage at the time. And if there's anything that sticks with me, it's mistakes I've made as a parent. But even with those, I do my best to learn from them, and move on. Regrets? If you're fairly happy with who and where you are now, then you should concur with the sentiments of Sidney Poitier, when Vanity Fair asked him about his greatest regret and what he'd change: "I cannot recall what that might have been, but whatever it was, I survived it. And I have no regrets about that. I wouldn't change a single thing, because one change alters every moment that follows it." At least you moved on quickly from Goldman Sachs, and didn't toil for years in the wrong spot. And who knows what you learned, about business, life or yourself, while there that you've brought forward with you. Oh sure, there's a lot I'd go back and change if I could, but I can't, and every minute I waste thinking about that is a minute I don't spend plotting the future.
Posted by: Mark Moran | March 13, 2010 at 03:54 PM
You know, Kylie, it's never to late to learn piano (I'm taking lessons now, and can happily play Amazing Grace, Summertime, and a few other tunes -- and I truly love playing).
Or, to learn a language.
Or, to take some fun/enriching English courses.
And, of course, you could do all of those things with family & friends (if you twist their arms to take the classes with you!)
I had breakfast today with a fellow education enthusiast, and we remarked about how difficult colleges make it for passionate local learners to just drop in on individual classes (rather than signing up for a full degree). I look forward to helping making this a reality, and infusing more energy around the possibilities into everyone's mindset.
p.s. you should add Disqus or some type of commenting system -- I just realized that I never saw your reply to the nanny comment that I left... since there isn't a notification system on future comments...
Posted by: Dave Schappell | April 09, 2010 at 09:34 AM