Speaking of nostalgia, I have had a frightening realization of late. The older I get, the more I miss past times. This is not to say that I am not enjoying current times, I very much am. But my laundry list of great past times that I feel a real longing for - and get emotionally raw about - is growing. It's going to church with my sister as a kid and laughing and giggling through the whole service, skipping Sunday school to sit in on the adult forum (I was 8, so of course), being the captain of the pom squad in high school (really cheesy but really fun), learning to drive and doing car dances on the way to school in the morning, my HUGE high school and the all-American-ness of it, eating bags of doritos late at night solving the world's problems with friends in college, living in London for a summer and first discovering the joys of having a little spending money and the world of culture and living it up at my doorstep, my first "big time" job in NYC, being in grad school and all the amazing things that happened there, being back in NYC and having loads fun, spending summers in Long Island, dancing at clubs, first meeting my husband and going out late on Thurday nights when I had to be at work early Fridays just to meet up with him, getting to know my parents as an adult and needing them more than ever as parents - and being really glad for that, the year of being engaged, getting married, seeing my sister get married, and now being an investor and actually liking my job, living in a funky (still young feeling!) apartment as DINKS (dual income no kids).
So all this great stuff makes me really raw. Holy crap, some of it is here and now but much of it is behind me. Just thinking about it makes me teary. By the time I am forty I will be a blubbering mess remembering all the great times past. And what will it be like when I am 50, 60, older (God willing) when the jar of memories fills and overflows with emotion and memories. At this rate of wonderfulness, good times and memories to fill a lifetime of gladness, I might have to be hospitalized.
I guess all I can say is this: Thank God for that. Now, Doc, check me in.
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